It’s often easier to talk about someone else’s problems than your own. As difficult as it can be for young men to talk about sensitive issues, it can be just as difficult for the trusted adults in their lives to share their stories with the raw honesty they are craving.

As a parent or guardian, you may hesitate to be fully transparent with your son. You may feel a responsibility to protect him by sharing the advice you wish you’d received in certain situations rather than the unvarnished truth about what really happened.

As a teacher, coach, or counselor, you have a moral and legal responsibility to maintain a professional distance from your students. Sharing personal details about your life experiences can expose you to liability on multiple levels.

All the Shit I Wish I Knew in High School provides a buffer for these conversations. Each chapter is a personal letter from me to my nephew, Ivan, who was in 8th grade at the time I wrote it. This book tells my unvarnished truth, including real stories and experiences from my life, as well as the lessons I learned from those experiences and recommendations for young men currently navigating them.

Start the conversation with your son, athlete, or student by discussing my stories and outcomes. Ask questions about how my experiences and the lessons I learned can be applied to their lives. I hope that as the conversation evolves, you will find an opportunity to share some of your truth as well.

I believe the overarching themes and life lessons in the book are valuable for everyone, and I have received positive feedback from both male and female readers. However, I did write it specifically for men, and the specifics of certain chapters are very clearly intended for a male audience.

I did not write this book to promote a specific angle or agenda. I have done my best to present the content in a way that transcends race, religion, socioeconomic status, disability, sexual orientation, political leaning, and any other “tribal” identity or affiliation.

As I share in the first chapter of the book, “I truly believe that the core of what I share in these letters … applies at the human level, and we all stand equally in that category.”

Also included in the first chapter is the following note to parents:

“Most of the content in this book is comprised of my opinion. With that being the case, I fully expect and welcome those with a different point of view to share their own thoughts. To any parent who reads this book and disagrees with something I say, consider it an invitation to start your own conversation with your son! Share your experience and perspective. Give him your personal point of view and explain why you disagree with mine. Encourage him to think critically about both sides of the argument and formulate his own opinion. By talking about these differences openly and honestly, we will collectively expand the minds of our young men, creating a stronger and much healthier society.”

I am not a parent, teacher, counselor, or psychologist. As I mention in my brief bio, I’m not special. I’m just a regular guy trying to live a fulfilling life and do as much good as I can with the time I have left. However, I believe that being just a “regular guy” is an asset when talking about sensitive topics.

Many of the topics I discuss in the book are viewed as shameful and embarrassing. They are the topics that we ALL face but are afraid to discuss with anyone else - even those closest to us. Addressing these questions in a series of letters to my nephew allows my readers to absorb the information passively and without any risk to themselves.

Talking about processing emotions, the fear of failure, being bullied, and having sex for the first time are difficult enough with close friends, but often unthinkable with parents or other trusted adults. It would require a young man to admit that he doesn’t know everything, which for many of us at that age feels like an admission of weakness, immaturity, and vulnerability.

What truly qualifies me to write this book is that I’m not their parent, guardian, teacher, coach, or counselor. I’m just a fellow man, writing from a place of love, who is willing to speak openly and honestly about all the topics young men want to hear about without demanding anything of them in return.